The reason you are instinctively more submissive or dominant in bed, can depend on your past, personality and what you like sexually.
A dominant role in bed will take the lead. He or she will usually initiate sex and is assertive to the sexual position. A submissive role in bed will not take the lead. He or she will not usually initiate sex, but he or she will respond to their partners advances. They are happy to be guided through the sex session and will happily participate. There are also different levels of submissiveness and dominance in bed. Here we are talking about naturally being more submissive or dominant, but there are some partners that can take it to another level. This is associated with BDSM where toys and equipment are used to literally make the submissive partner obey the dominant partner. For example, a submissive partner can be tied up by the dominant partner or sexually spanked by the partner. We are not talking about “torture” here. A submissive and dominant relationship will be fully consenting and have absolute trust with each other, so no sexual limits are broken.
Many people could say that a submissive person is just lazy and likes the partner to do all the world. A female can feel like she has a strong manly partner if she is more submissive and he is more dominent in the bed. Being a submissive person “it’s not a character flaw, it’s a desirable trait”. A person may be instinctively more submissive if their partner is more of a dominant character. Some people liked to be looked after, controlled or to depend on someone else, so being a submissive in bed suits them naturally.
However, because you are more submissive in bed, doesn’t necessarily mean you are a submissive person in everyday life. You may be a very dominant business person during the day, but submissive to your partner in bed. Therefore, you might want a break from being powerful and in control and so, in the bedroom allow someone else to take control.
Many sexual couples can be instinctively dominant or submissive when they enter the bed. A dominant partner may be instinctively submissive on one occasion and vice versa. You do not always have to be submissive or dominant, but opposites attract. Having two dominant people in the bed or two submissive people in the bed doesn’t work as well as having one dominant and one submissive. Whilst its absolutely fine for both people to have suggestions and ideas, it always runs more smoothly if an instinctively dominant person takes the lead and therefore the submissive follows.
To be instinctively dominant or submissive does not have to depend what sex you are. Typically, and quite sexist, people think that the man is usually the dominant and the female is the submissive. But many men are the submissive role in bed and the female is the dominant role.
If a person can compensate for the others dominant or submissive role in bed, then you are sexually compatible with your sexual partner and that is what matters in bed.